Being 4o something is awesome. I love my life, I love my family and friends. Most days I love pretty much everything about what's going on. That is to say, everything except that my body has forgotten that it is supposed to be helping me out with this aging thing instead of throwing me under the bus! Everytime I turn around something else is falling or bulging or sagging! Seriously, it's a race against time!

Recently, I started working out again with my trainor, Lina. She is awesome and exactly what I need to get me to the gym. The fact that I pay her to assist me keeps me going because whether I show up or not, I still owe her for the session; nothing like the motivation of money. I used to think I couldnt afford to have a trainor, now I know I cant afford not to have one! My metabolism has gotten so out of balance that no matter what I eat or how much of it, I seem to gain weight somewhere. I eat less than I did in my thirties but gain weight faster.

A little over a year ago I was working out with Lina three times a week. I started with 1/2 hr sessions working up to hour long sessions and 6 miles of cardio a week. I was really doing well and the weight really began to fall off when I started the cardio training. The running was melting the fat, literally. It was like magic! In a little over a year, I had lost around 25 pounds and looked awesome if I do say so myself. I had eliminated all of the cellulite on the back of my legs and I was close to having those six pack abs! Seriously!

In June of last year I found myself in the ER with a couple kidney stones. It was an awful experience. The initial pain was worse than natural childbirth which I have done four times so I KNOW what I am talking about! Two surgeries later I was on the mend but it took me 6 months to feel like working out again. Needlesstosay, I gained back about 10 pounds of the 25 I had lost and I was so disappointed and angry too that my body couldnt maintain after all of that training and cardio. Why?

Metabolism, hormones....aging. I hate it. I will NEVER be one of those women who say they are embracing the aging process. Not me, not a chance, I intend to fight it every step of the way! When I look in the mirror I want to see ME, not some old woman 30 pounds overweight with wrinkles, bags and a muffin top! Uugghh! The reality is that it will be what it will be and I will at some point have to settle for old, just not now.

I am intriqued by Jillian Michael's book, Mastering Your Metabolism and I am sure I will be going to Walmart(best price) to retrive a copy very soon. I have heard alot of good things about it. Today, I picked up a copy of her cookbook of the same name. I love it so far! Great recipes and strategies and logical reasoning for eliminating foods that slow metabolism and adding those that speed it up. I am all for that and cant wait to get started.

The thing is, I know I can do it. But, it's the getting started that's the problem. Even though I am working out again I am still not there mentally. Today at the gym I felt myself glaring at Lina when she would ask me to do ten more reps...I had to remind myself that I was the one who had asked her to beat me up! When I complain, she says "you're welcome".

I will get there mentally and I will stop glaring at Lina. It will happen and when it does I will be back into my tankini and hanging the skirted swimsuit in the closet. I will let you know how the new books are working out, in the meantime, wish me luck and say a few prayers for me!