Years past

 

Recently, I joined the world of Facebook. After many years of urging by my family to join them, I finally gave in. I had really never had the desire to be a Facebook groupie, the entire idea seemed pointless and a waste of time. After all, personal time with four teenagers around is hard to come by and why would I waste it on Facebook when I could be doing so many other things. At least that was the way I justified my lack of interest in Facebook. The truth, if I am really being honest, is that I was afraid I would get hate mail from high school. Not that I really would but you know what I mean. High school is tough and you just do things that you shouldnt and you say things you shouldnt and man oh man there are so many things you wish you could take back. Looking back haunted me and I just didnt want to set myself up for rejection. After all, didnt we get enough of that in high school?

I was the popular one, the pretty one, the head cheerleader and always had the great guy. I was happy and had great friends but was never confident and never understood my popularity. I mistakenly thought it had something to do with my outer beauty because it couldnt be me that everyone liked, could it? I mean, I made so many mistakes and had taken people for granted and so on and so on(typical teenager). I went on for years thinking that I was "pretty" and defined myself by my appearance. What I found out later in life is that defining yourself by outer beauty is forever empty and very misleading.

I have always heard that our forties are the age of self discovery. True for me at least. I have learned so much about myself in the past 6 years.It's like I am finally seeing who I really am, looking past the aging woman in the mirror. Embracing the sagging boobs and spare tire that has attached itself to my abs and the cellulite on my butt and legs that will not go away. And through Facebook, I have learned that friends really saw more than my hair and pretty skin and cute little butt.(I really DID(past tense) have a cute butt). They really did see the kind and generous and funny side of me in spite of all of my mistakes.

So, I have to say that I LOVE Facebook and I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. I never thought it would be a place I cherished friendships and actually enjoyed myself. So, hats off to you, whomever created Facebook, thank you for such a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with ourselves. For giving us back the people we used to be and still hope to be. And thank you too, to my friends and family who nagged me for years to be a groupie, I will forever owe you big time! And most of all, thank you to those from my past with whom I have reconnected. Thank you for always loving me as I was, for forgiving my many mistakes and appreciating my inner beauty as well as the outer stuff. Thank you for reaching out to me and remembering who we were...you are truly a blessing.