What's the hardest thing about being a Mom? NOT being a Mom...letting go of control and decision making, allowing your half-grown children to get a Mohawk if they want, allowing them to stay out until four in the morning because they feel they can take care of themselves, resisting the temptation to slap their mouth when they backtalk out of frustration in their fight for independence and keeping your mouth shut when they make bad decisions so that you dont say "I told you so". Letting go is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I hate it. It goes against everything I have been doing for them for the past 18 plus years, it doesnt even feel right, it feels like I am a bad parent.

I keep reminding myself that this will pass and they will cling to all that we have taught them...that this "Phase" as everyone likes to call it, will end and they will be stronger because of it. Uugghhhhh....I cant take it anymore. How do you know when enough is enough? How do you know when to let go....

Probably when they start blaming you for all of their mistakes, probably when you are the reason they hate their life, probably when nothing you do is right in their eyes. But, I am pretty sure it's when your daughter says "GO AWAY" and your son comes home with a Mohawk and says "I got this for YOUR  family reunion". It's time.  It's their way of saying "I got this and I can do this on my own without your help, you are making me crazy!". It's time to walk away and let them do it...they are begging for the freedom which we have been preparing for them to have.

So why is it sooo hard to let them go...why am I so afraid? Why do I still feel the need to rush in when they MIGHT fall? Don't I trust in what I have been teaching them, havent I given them everything they need to be responsible adults?

Yes, I have given them everything that I have...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...they have gotten it all, there is no more to give.

I guess that explains the sheer exhaustion, the helplessness and the feeling that I have lost control. I am exhausted because I have nothing left to give. I feel helpless because I am not suppose to have any more answers, and I feel like I have no control because I am not supposed to have control right now, with God's help, they are. This is the way God intended it to be. It's God's way of telling me that there is nothing left for me to do. It is my time to rest and let them be who we have raised them to be. 

Ok, Lord. I am handing you the baton. I have run my course and I have run a good race. I trust in myself as a Mom and what I have left on the field. I trust you in carrying them the rest of the way as you have carried us this far.

With tears streaming down my face, I let go of them and know that I have done what you have asked of me. I am here if they need me and I know that they will. I think I need a nap.

Oh the splendor of Junk Gypsy charm! What is it about this style that we all love so much? Besides loving pink...I would have to say it's about freedom, real freedom to dream and let go of our inhibitions, be creative and enjoy life; to step outside our comfort zone, think outside the box.

Most of us dream of doing something creative...someday bringing our dreams to reality. This daring Trio has done just that. In 1998, they stepped away from their 8-5 jobs and set out to find their creative souls. And I am so glad they did...I love their style, their happy, joyful spirits. The happiness they have found chasing their dreams shows in their work.

Amie, Janie and Jolie the Junk Gypsy Trio

Miranda Lambert is a huge fan and personal friend of the JG. This is her bus that the Trio designed. Awesome! Check out www.gypsyville.com for more pics of the Bus and more Junk Gypsy style! 

Miranda Lambert in one of the Junk Gypsy T-shirts! Available on their website. Check out Kim Hoegger Home on facebook for more on the Junk Gypsies! Find your voice...take a chance!
 
 
 
 

 

Simply white...simply elegant, simply classic...need I say more? 
 
 
 
 

Being 4o something is awesome. I love my life, I love my family and friends. Most days I love pretty much everything about what's going on. That is to say, everything except that my body has forgotten that it is supposed to be helping me out with this aging thing instead of throwing me under the bus! Everytime I turn around something else is falling or bulging or sagging! Seriously, it's a race against time!

Recently, I started working out again with my trainor, Lina. She is awesome and exactly what I need to get me to the gym. The fact that I pay her to assist me keeps me going because whether I show up or not, I still owe her for the session; nothing like the motivation of money. I used to think I couldnt afford to have a trainor, now I know I cant afford not to have one! My metabolism has gotten so out of balance that no matter what I eat or how much of it, I seem to gain weight somewhere. I eat less than I did in my thirties but gain weight faster.

A little over a year ago I was working out with Lina three times a week. I started with 1/2 hr sessions working up to hour long sessions and 6 miles of cardio a week. I was really doing well and the weight really began to fall off when I started the cardio training. The running was melting the fat, literally. It was like magic! In a little over a year, I had lost around 25 pounds and looked awesome if I do say so myself. I had eliminated all of the cellulite on the back of my legs and I was close to having those six pack abs! Seriously!

In June of last year I found myself in the ER with a couple kidney stones. It was an awful experience. The initial pain was worse than natural childbirth which I have done four times so I KNOW what I am talking about! Two surgeries later I was on the mend but it took me 6 months to feel like working out again. Needlesstosay, I gained back about 10 pounds of the 25 I had lost and I was so disappointed and angry too that my body couldnt maintain after all of that training and cardio. Why?

Metabolism, hormones....aging. I hate it. I will NEVER be one of those women who say they are embracing the aging process. Not me, not a chance, I intend to fight it every step of the way! When I look in the mirror I want to see ME, not some old woman 30 pounds overweight with wrinkles, bags and a muffin top! Uugghh! The reality is that it will be what it will be and I will at some point have to settle for old, just not now.

I am intriqued by Jillian Michael's book, Mastering Your Metabolism and I am sure I will be going to Walmart(best price) to retrive a copy very soon. I have heard alot of good things about it. Today, I picked up a copy of her cookbook of the same name. I love it so far! Great recipes and strategies and logical reasoning for eliminating foods that slow metabolism and adding those that speed it up. I am all for that and cant wait to get started.

 
  

The thing is, I know I can do it. But, it's the getting started that's the problem. Even though I am working out again I am still not there mentally. Today at the gym I felt myself glaring at Lina when she would ask me to do ten more reps...I had to remind myself that I was the one who had asked her to beat me up! When I complain, she says "you're welcome".

I will get there mentally and I will stop glaring at Lina. It will happen and when it does I will be back into my tankini and hanging the skirted swimsuit in the closet. I will let you know how the new books are working out, in the meantime, wish me luck and say a few prayers for me!

Just wanted to share that I am better now. I have moved beyond my self pity and found peace in the knowledge that God loves me more than I could ever comprehend. He loves me so much that he refuses to allow me to wander into places that I shouldnt go, refuses to allow me to have things that I simply do not need. I am forever greatful for his Grace.

Peace comes when I allow myself to release everything to him. Every fret, every hurt, every anxiety. I let him have it all. There is no peace like that. There is nothing that calms the soul like his gentle hand taking control of my life. And when I manage to climb back up the cliff(after I have thrown myself off!), I realize that he never let go of my hand; that he had me all along. I just thought I was by myself but I really never am. He carrys me. Amazing, truly Amazing Grace.

This is one of my favorite poems, written by Mary Stevensen, 1936,

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

---

Mary Stevenson, 1936

Just wanted you to know that I am better today, better knowing that God is in control and that I am not. Off to run my errands!

Giallo Ornamental...that's a color name of a piece of granite that I am looking at for the lakehouse. It isnt my first choice as I thought I had to have a white marble called Calacatta Danby...oh my goodness it is gorgeous! Beautiful, clean white marble with breathtaking beige and chocolate marbling. I wanted it so badly that I havent been able to think of anything else. I based my entire design for the kitchen around it. I am so in love with that marble. It is near perfection in the world of marble. In fact, open any design magazine displaying a "to die for kitchen" and there it will be...stunningly beautiful.

But....then, we have to be realistic, dont we? And Calacatta Danby turns out to be extremely pricey and not really a good choice on the durability side when it comes to lakehouse living...dang it!!!!! I want it and it just doesnt look like I will get it. And if I am really honest with myself and listen to the practical designer inside my head, she is telling me I would be sorry later because marble would not hold up to the abuse my family and friends and I would heave on it. The simple tasks of cooking and mixing drinks would destroy the finish. A few drops of lemon or lime juice would take the finish off and olive oil or wine would leave permanent rings. So, why am I so upset....probably has nothing to do with the marble.

Sometimes, we set our minds on something and our knuckles turn white from holding on so tight. It turns our world upside down, makes us irritable with the ones we love and angry with ourselves when it appears it wont work out. (Like I said, it has nothing to do with marble. lol.) I am so frustrated right now with so many things! Nothing seems to be coming easy, everything is hard. The marble is just the straw that might break the camel's back.

I want it dang it! I know it's impractical and bloody expensive, but, dang it, can I not just have one thing that I want right now? Just one? That's my attitude today, nothing is the way I want it and everything is too hard and I have convinced myself that the marble will make everything better. That is, until a year from now when I hate it because there are rings all over the place and rough spots from the lemon juice. Then I will want to blame someone else for allowing me to have it(Sorry, Honey).

Uugghh, I dont want to be practical or conservative. I am always like that! Ask my family and friends, they will tell you...Kim is by the book! No waves, no wide turns....so predictable, so boring. I just wanted something different this time, something unreachable, something outside the box. NOT. I have chosen Giallo Ornamental....Beige, middle of the road in price. Typical and ordinary. I am so disappointed. But, what the hell, it's a countertop right?...or is it?

We are in full swing now, getting ready to open the shop sometime in May! I am so looking forward to sharing so many wonderful new things with all of you. Still looking for a few creative ladies to take the remaining spots, let me know if you are interested.

One of our new products is the new book by Rosanna Bowles, Coming Home-A Seasonal Guide to Creating Family Traditions. This is a lovely book full of beautiful photography and information for centering your life around family. Family meal ideas, family gathering ideas, decorating and table setting, travel and holiday planning. You'll love it! Look for it in the shop and for those of you who cant get by to see us, check out the website, it will be available soon!

Also new in the shop and available on the website soon...

 

Happy Shopping!
  
  
 
 
 
 

My husband says I'm a "fixer". A "fixer", what the heck is a "fixer"? When he said that to me the first time a few months ago, I thought he was out of his mind and I told him so. I said, "That's ridiculous, I am not a "fixer" whatever that is!". What I didn't tell him was that he knows me better than I know myself and if he says I am a "fixer" then I probably am, and I better start trying to figure out what that is!

After a few weeks, with this new classification of myself in my head, I began to see myself a little differently. I began to notice that I was doing this "fixer" thing without even thinking about it; while doing ten thousand other things! Every time one of my kids mentioned a problem at school or with a friend, I would immediately go into my "fixer-mode". My husband would mention something that happened at work and there I would go...see a problem, hand out a solution! OMG! I am so totally a "fixer"!!!! He was right!(again). The more conscious I became of my actions, the more I noticed that I was handing out solutions like Halloween candy!

The thing is...I like being a "fixer", it's a peacful place for me. I like order and I am most uncomfortable in caos. I think I subconsciously identify solutions quickly because I dont like living in the gray. It's not a comfy place for me. I see a problem as an opportunity for making something better and attempt to correct it as quickly as possible. This is my "comfy couch", my saving grace in a world of caos.

The problem with being a "fixer" is that not everyone sees things the way you do. Not everyone who appears to have a problem thinks it needs to be fixed. A situation that appears to be a "fixer upper" by my standards isn't always a "fixer upper" by someone else's. Some people like living in the "gray". Not me, I simply cannot live that way. When it comes to making decisions, I see things as black and white, no gray for me. I never have and I dont think I ever will.

The heartbreak comes for me when there are loved ones and acquaintences that I simply cannot fix. The ones whose lives seem burdened by caos, poverty and addictions. The ones whose lives seem overrun by making the same bad decisions over and over and over. The reality is that they simply do not want to be "fixed". They are simply comfortable in the gray and I am heartbroken. Help me Lord to leave the "fixin" to you.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

Meet Rachel Ashwell, Mom, world renowned designer and shop owner....

 

Below is an article written by Rachel for High Point Market...awesome, so insightful, enjoy! 

"To me this word "lifestyle" means an aesthetic and emotional expression of who we are and what holds value in our lives. For the past two decades, beauty, comfort and function have been the words I have used to describe the Shabby Chic ® brand philosophy on the meaning of lifestyle. Without all three of these functions I have a hard time styling my life. When I opened my first Shabby Chic ® brand store in California in 1989 it was with an innocent and authentic aesthetic of products for the home designed by myself or found vintage treasures. At the time I did not know the meaning of trends, floor sets, line lists, inventory flow or merchandising. I cautiously bought or designed what I loved with no agenda. My focus was simply to offer whimsical and romantic products with an heirloom quality, attention to detail, classic timelessness with an edge, and to tell a story through one-of-kind treasures and design. I also wanted to inspire my customers to find their own expression from the Shabby Chic ® brand store experience while over time staying true to my brand. It may not have satisfied all, but for those it did, they could rely upon me.

At first, I knew little of the home furnishing business. I knew there were interior designers for those who did not have the knowledge on where or how to create their own home. I also knew there were design centers that housed beautiful fabrics and furniture that were hard to obtain.

I recall at the time, I felt that most furniture stores offered safe and standard product. These products were easy come, easy go and never offered a shopping experience.

I do not pride myself with inventing the slipcover, nor machine-washable fabrics. I do pride myself with prioritizing and cultivating the shopping experience and with inspiring an industry of thinking outside the box of "sameness." This sameness was seemingly due to designers who wanted to play it safe with designs that were proven successes, inventory systems that couldn't handle "one offs," or manufacturers that were afraid of inconsistent wood finishes and dye lots.

As years have gone by I have pleasantly observed the likes of Restoration Hardware and Anthropologie making a commitment to providing customers with products that have depth of meaning. These retailers pride themselves on sharing stories "behind the scenes," taking risks on one-of-a-kind items and creating narratives with their merchandising. Shoppers deserve this shift: products taking on character and substance.

Online shopping serves a great need and niche, but cannot offer the same experience as an in-person shopping trip. When a person can experience magical products with quality customer service first hand, I believe they feel a great gratitude. The customers feel special because they feel they are taking home something special, and I do believe the experience resonates with a customer more than an online knockdown product purchase experience.

I believe people are re-evaluating their priorities and are no longer interested in disposable trends. While price is a concern, people are putting a value on soulful design. They want products they can pass onto their children. They don’t need endless newness for the sake of newness. They want quality and products that can layer into their existing pieces at home. People want to be inspired and educated so that they can find their own voice of design.

While there are murmurs the recession is over, I do not believe people will ever spend they way they used to. The lovely part of the aftermath of the recession is the humility that comes along. I believe the days of disposability and wanting to stand out are firmly in the past.

However, I do believe people want to identify with their homes and products in them. As stores are stepping up, customers understand the close connection of how their homes reflect their values more than in recent years. In connecting with my own customers, I have found their values to have a life of meaning, usefulness, originality, and beauty. The thinking that less is more has taken hold and I do believe mediocrity and sameness is losing its ground, making room for specialness. "

Fabulous, right? I have been a fan of Rachel's for many, many years. I have walked the floors of her store in Chicago; a dreamy wonderland, and walked side by side with her while in RoundTop, Texas at the Marburger Antique Show where she hand selects the most amazing antiques for her shops. She is inspiring and a great example to all of us...it all starts with a dream! Rachel's Simply Shabby Chic line is available in Target stores nationwide. Check it out...you will love it and knowing her alittle better makes it that much sweeter! Happy Shopping!

Scrumptious Bella Notte Linens...my absolute favorite!

This is an awesome example of how a little elbow grease and fabulous fabric can completely change the look of a chair or sofa or whatever you might have in the garage that needs alittle work. Give it a whirl!

Check this out! I love this woman and her blog...really, I love this blog!

www.cityfarmercooks.blogspot.com

I especially love the post called "Salad at Stoplights" and you will too, it's brilliant! I am always looking for a way to lose a few pounds and this woman is onto something! And...it's so good for you, I am definately going to get this going tomorrow and see if I cant get the "little blogger butt" that she says I can attain with "Salads at Stoplights"! Happy Eating!

Meet Shelley Price of SweetPeaHome, she is a master at delivering french cottage style! I could stay in her booth for hours and I do! I love it and can just imagine what it would be like to live the life her booth portrays. Such casual glamour, I feel as if I am in a country house in the South of France.

 

Check out Shelley's blog www.sweetpeahome.blogspot.com

Meet Mo McSwane of Rubbish, my other favorite person and designer at Marburger. I just love Mo and everything she does...she has such a happy booth! It just makes me feel good to be there. Not only does she have a gorgeous selection of brown transferware and ironstone, but, she is also an artist and always has something new and creative to share with us. I wish I had a picture of the adorable bottles filled with vintage pearls that I bought for my girls last year! So precious...and one year, I bought the most adorable cup & saucer with "fill my cup Lord" on the side of it in old typeset style letters, still my favorite Marburger finds! 

Visit Mo at www.rubbishandcompany.com Happy Junkin!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Marburger Farm was especially lovely this Spring. The smell of hyacinth in the air...ahhhh, it makes for such a wonderful start to a glorious season. I love it!

I guess you could say I am a flower girl, I simply love being surrounded by fresh flowers as you will see by the pics from the show. This season I chose green and white as my color palette, made casual by the use of natural burlap. Wrapping potted plants in burlap was an easy and inexpensive way to bring about the casual yet elegant look we find so alluring.

Simply cut a square of burlap that will reach as far above the lip of the pot as you desire. Cut, place on a flat surface and place the pot in the center. Pull the burlap up around the pot and tie with raffia. You may use floral picks to hold in place if the raffia doesnt do the magic. I chose to let the burlap fall casually. Simply wonderful...try it! The beauty of this is that you can water your plants and not worry about taking off the burlap, the water runs right through! Do allow it to dry out or you may have a moldy mess.

 
 
Other pics of the show...a stroll through Kim Hoegger HOME...

I can happily say that this beautiful charming boy and his sister were sold as a pair and will remain together as they have been for a very long time.

Antique marble trivets are making a comeback in kitchen design. This show we had some truly gorgeous ones in really unique shapes like this oval one...so lovely and what a great way to display cooking oils and vinegars on your island or on the counter next to the range. Lovely.

That's all for now, gotta run some errands. More on Marburger and Kim Hoegger HOME later. See you soon!

Seven days and counting! Trailor is loaded and I am running last minute errands and starting to pack my bags! I cant wait to see what treasures the fields have in store for me this trip. Beginning Friday, I will be uploading photos of my adventures each day. Check back often...dont miss out on the fun or the treasures! You never know who I might run into in RoundTop!

Marburger Farm opens Tuesday, March 30 at 10:00 am for early birds and closes at 2:00 pm! Cost for "early birds" is $25.00 but the ticket will get you in all week. A great deal considering the best of the treasures will be gone in the first hour or so! Show will remain open from 2pm to 4pm on opening day at a cost of $10.00. If you can make it...you dont wont to miss opening day! Wednesday through Saturday the cost of the show is $10.00 and the ticket is good all week! Come back and shop as often as you like but dont hesitate on that special something...it will NOT be there when you return! I am most definately speaking from experience. I have let a number of great finds slip through my fingers because I wanted to "think about it". Big mistake!

Be sure to check out Kim Hoegger HOME  in Tent B, space Bd11. More "Melt Your Heart Magic" from Kim Hoegger HOME. Other great vendors include Mo McSwane of Rubbish Tent B(Bc1) www.rubbishandcompany.com, Robin Brown of Magnolia Pearl Tent A(Ac8) www.magnoliapearl.com , Judy Hill of Judy Hill Designs Tent A(Aa8) www.judyhilldesigns.com , and soooo many more fabulous vendors. You wont believe your eyes!

See you next week! Happy Shopping!

 
  
A few months ago I started thinking about the upcoming spring break vacation. With a family of four young adults, one must be very careful in planning. One must create a very delicate balance of fun and family time with exciting activities and plenty of time to nap(teenagers need their sleep). They also love to eat. So it is imperative that the destination have good, healthy food(per Mom). I must admit that food is one of my "must haves" as I am quite the Foodie. I need fresh, wonderfully prepared food that is as pretty to look at as it is to eat. I dont ask for alot of a vacation personally. But, I must have clean, comfy beds, preferably feather-topped, chef-prepared meals and a spa. What? Ok, I know...but, I am the wife of a Hotel Renovation Specialist and I am quite accustomed to the perks. Anyway.....

In the early years, we looked forward to simply having the week off and staying in town. It used to be enough to hang around the house, play outside with friends and shop for spring and summer clothes. Not anymore. My children are half grown and hanging around the house is NOT what they like to do. In fact, they are always gone if they can help it and heaven forbid they have to stay here on a friday night let alone spring break! That's just NOT cool! To say you are "doing nothing" for spring break is dull. Ironically, when I tell them we are "going out of town" they go into immediate shock and start having social withdrawals.  The complaining begins..."why are we going, we want to stay here with friends?", "how long will we be gone and where are we going?", "Uugghh, why are we doing this, cant we just stay here?". Quite frankly, as parents, we are well aware that they do not know what they want. They simply like to complain about anything that we are planning, anything that isn't their idea. Given time...they warm up to the idea of getting away and begin to get a little excited. They try not to show it, however, because going anywhere with your family is really lamo!

So, in looking ahead to Spring Break, like everything else in my life, this too has changed. It has become necessary to get them away from home if I actually wanted to spend time with them. Leaving town is a necessity to having them all to myself for a few days. And a few days is all I ask.

This year I chose Rough Creek Lodge. It resides on 11,000 acres near Glen Rose, Texas and is an amazing place. Beautiful, west Texas hills and mountain tops, a gorgeous lake full of catfish and very large bass! Inside the Lodge is equally as beautiful. Decorated in true Texas Ranch Style, the Lodge elegantly displays leather chairs and ottomans, heavy farmhouse tables and lots and lots of taxidermy! The beds are topped with feather mattresses(just the way I like them) and there are lots and lots of down pillows....ahhhh. Originally privately owned and designed to be a hunting lodge, Rough Creek is a hunter's paradise...My boys were in heaven! I think we came home with 60 or so birds! There is also an amazing Spa...I knew what I was doing when I planned this trip. Boys hunt, girls go to the Spa!

We had an incredibly fun, relaxing time. Paint balling and skeet shooting were family favorites! And we were able to get enough rest to push us through the next couple of months of school. What my kids dont realize now is how much they really love spring break with their family. They complain about going and being "out of town" and always want to know "how long" we will be gone. They are so grumpy before we leave! Getting them to pack and get in the car is almost not worth the stress. Ahhhh...but, once we are five miles outside of town and we start talking and laughing with each other, singing corny songs on the radio and sharing songs from our ipods...there is nothing worth more than this trip. It is such a blessing to watch your kids interact without fighting over mascara! To watch them hug each other and mean it...not because Dad made you! I love to hear them say things like "Hey Kelli, want to go hit some balls at the driving range?" or "Cara, want to go down to the Fishing dock? There's a really cute guy working, but, dont tell Mom."(Mom already knows).

So, I am happy with my choice of spring break vacation destinations this year...Rough Creek Lodge was a breath of fresh air for all of us. Best of all was the time we were given to appreciate each other again. Time spent remembering the reasons why family is so important to all of us whether we can admit it or not. www.roughcreek.com

Why are there so many frustrations in our lives? Just when we get used to the way things are, they change. Just when we think we have things under control, we dont. And just when we think we are finished with something, we see that we are not.

If I could just take a perfect day and keep it, make it the model for the rest. The day when everything goes according to plan, our hair looks great, the jeans are loose, the house feels clean and tidy and the family is content. Is it too much to ask for a few more of those?

I think by God's design our lives are not all good days. It just wouldnt be challenging enough for us to learn anything. And learn we must to become better human beings, better parents, better friends. And if our hair always looked good and the jeans were never tight, we wouldn't appreciate our body and the hard work it takes to make it look that way.

I know all of this, but, still I am tired of the fight to look good. It used to be effortless. Prior to forty pretty much everything was effortless if I am honest. What happens to us at forty? Really? I am stumped and I am more frustrated than I have ever been. I am not one to complain, I am generally happy, but, lately, I just cant find anything that I am happy with and I think it's mostly because I am fighting those stubborn fifteen pounds, the same ones I have been fighting for two years. It's just not a fair fight. I dont have the time, the energy or the "want to" to get the pounds off. I have never had to really work at it and I dont like the fact that the only way to tackle the unwanted pounds is to spend hours in the gym every week and starve myself. It's soooo extreme. I dont like anything extreme. I like simple things done in simple time. I like calm, orderly things and I dont like to be rushed. I go to great lengths to make my plans for the week and working out three to four times a week for an hour and a half at a time just doesnt work for me. It just doesnt leave anytime for me to complete the tasks on my list.

As a full-time Mom, my time is very limited. After getting the kids off to school at eight, then showering and getting organized for the day, sometimes it can be 10:30 or 11:00 before I know it. Then off to run the thousands of errands for everyone in my house, and picking up samples and materials for the lakehouse remodel, groceries for dinner, etc., and all of a sudden it's 3:30 and time to pick up kids! There is no time to work out! Not without leaving something out and having everyone in the family wonder why there stuff isnt done!

A year and a half ago I was totally selfish in my pursuit of the perfect, skinny me. I was working out three to fours day a week with a trainor for an hour and running six miles a week. Eating lean was "no effort" because I was on that high that we get from working out all the time. It is a great feeling...why do we let ourselves let it go? The routine was working well and I was in such great shape. I looked awesome and was so proud of myself. I could look in the mirror and smile back at me.

Enter the kidney stone and a three week battle of getting rid of it. Two surgeries later, I was finally on the mend. But, by the time I felt better and was getting my strength back, it had been three months and I was totally out of the mood to work out. It has been a landslide ever since and that is why I am so fed up today. I have just had it. I cannot work that hard again to have everything fall apart with so little changing except lack of exercise. I mean seriously, who can work out three to four times a week and eat like a bird forever????? It just isnt real. Not to mention the $$$$ it costs to have a trainor...geez, it's a car payment!

I have decided that that whole package, even as great as I looked was not realistic. Especially when I was only off for three months and nothing stayed where I had put it with the weights. So, what now....I dont know...I am just at witts end. I am continuing to eat what I want, like I have done my whole life, only now it doesnt just flush through my system, it sticks in all the wrong places and I hate it. I am angry about how hard it is to lose weight and angry about how impossible the routine must be to keep it off. I have planted my feet...I am angry and refused to submit to the idea of all the extra work that is needed. I simply dont want to do it and I dont feel like it is fair that I have to...it should get easier not harder after all we do for everyone else. Someone should be taking care of me... 

Ever tire of a room's decor? Ever wish you could start over, just throw out everything you have and start again? Me too! I always feel this way about this time of year. With spring just around the corner, the decorator in me starts to get antsy. I look around at every room in my house and I am bored. I have been looking at the same walls all winter and I have grown tired and feel the need to start fresh.

As much as I would like to do just that, I simply cannot throw everything out and start over. So, I have come up with a few little things that really make me feel better and make my rooms look fresher.

I usually start with changing the tablecloth on my kitchen table. Most of the time the table is full from end to end with multiple projects. So, removing the junk and changing the tablecloth makes an enormous difference in my mood. Arranging beautiful fresh flowers in a delightful container is my next step. The more fragrant the flowers the better I feel. Spring seems within my reach!

Clearing off the desk and throwing out old magazines that have stacked up over the winter months will make anyone's mood lighter. It's amazing how much paper and other clutter we can accumulate while we are hibernating. Clear it off, throw it out...lighten the mood!

Still not enough? Consider slipcovering your sofa in a light fabric. I love to use white linen or cotton duck fabric. Love what it does for a room! It's like a breath of fresh air, like sunshine after the rain.

Before you throw out everything, try these simple tips for bringing in a little spring. I think it just might be enough to get you through the next couple of weeks until we really see the sunshine and smell the flowers!

And if you still feel the need to start over and get rid of everything, have fun and send me "before and after" photos!

Where does the time go? Today, I met with some old friends for lunch. We hadnt seen each other in twenty plus years and it was as if it had only been days. We all stepped right back into the old times with tons of pictures and stories. We poured through albums and laughed until we had tears in our eyes...mostly at our hair! We all had exactly the same hairdo....parted down the middle and winged on the sides. In fact, we were looking at an old group photo of a cheer camp we had attended one summer and there must have been 200 plus girls in that photo. You would think that we could find our squad....Nope, EVERYONE had the same hair! 200 girls and we all had our hair parted down the middle and winged on the sides. We have Farrah to thank for that! God rest her soul. We laughed for hours, and could have gone on for more but the restaurant staff was starting to stare.

Why do we wait so long to get together we old friends? Why do we procrastinate and pretend that our life before family and children didnt matter? It does matter...it is part of who we are and to reach back and touch that part of us can be so empowering. It feels so good to laugh about our hair and the funny vest we were wearing! What were we thinking? It feels good to know that we really did exist in that life that we sort of remember.

Thanks so much to those who put together this reunion of cheerleaders, it was such a blast from the past! I had such a wonderful time and am looking forward to the next one!

Wish I had a photo to share with you...I will look around and see what I can come up with. You have got to see the hair!

I need ice cream...lots and lots of creamy, chocolately, crunchy, ice cream! Yes, crunchy! Ice cream can be crunchy...well, if it's from Marble Slab and loaded with coconut, almonds, and fresh strawberries it most definately can be! I think I have decided that it will be my dinner...my teenagers will have to fend for themselves. I love them more than words, but today, I am just tired of being the one on which everything falls. Today, they can eat cereal or a sandwich while I drive thirty minutes in deep solitude to get the ice cream that my soul craves. 

I am tired, I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed at the moment with my responsibilities of being Mom to three teenagers and a young adult. It seems nothing that I can do is enough. Even with the most detailed planning, there are days when nothing seems to work out the way I planned. I just want them to make great grades, have great friends, have outstanding faith in themselves and in God and obey me with out a word of disagreement or discontent. What?

I know what you're thinking. I know that I am out of my mind if I think I can control four teenagers mind, body and spirit. A girl can dream cant she?

I have mentioned a time or two before the place in life where I find myself. Three teenagers, a young adult and a husband that travels alot...a 46 year old body that does not remember who I am supposed to be or what I am supposed to look like. My kids think I am not working so that I can be at their beck and call. Seriously, they do and I am to blame for this. I have made it my job to wait on them and be there whenever something goes wrong to pick them up and dust them off. I have made it my job to make sure they do not do without anything and heaven forbid they should miss a social event, sporting event or party for a friend; I am the "take them anywhere Mom taxi". Thank the Lord that my two oldest are driving...this helps alot but it is another stress in itself. Another reason I do not sleep at night. I wonder if that is the reason for the hot flashes too? NOT. 

My youngest son and oldest daughter are both severely dyslexic and ADD. They struggle beyond words and it is heartbreaking to watch. It is a source of neverending hopelessness for me. I simply cannot make their disabilities go away. And I cannot live with that somedays. My daughter is one of the most amazing young ladies I have ever met. She has brilliant insight and compassion for others and her wisdom is breathtaking. Her accomplishments are astounding for someone of her disabilities. She overcomes things that would take most people out of the race. To know her is to know someone who never gives up, someone who never takes "No" for an answer. She is someone who has the strength of steel, the courage of a Lion and the faith to move mountains.

She is a Senior this year, and has decided to be a teacher. I am once again in awe of her. I am taken back that she would choose a profession that has been the source of her pain and suffering for the past twelve years. She chooses to teach so that children that share her disabilities will not suffer as she has. She chooses to teach because she feels it is where she is supposed to be and these precious children need her. I am so proud of her.

Silently, I cry for her. I would never want her to see me cry and to know that I am hurting for her. She looks to me for strength. But, as I watch her check the mail daily for admission letters from the colleges she has chosen, I can only cry as college after college tells her she is not good enough, that what she has struggled to accomplish is not enough. If they only knew her as I do, as her teachers know her, as her friends know her...they would fight to have her in their presence. It is their loss as she is truly one of the most amazing people I have ever encountered and she will be an amazing teacher one day. They will have missed the opportunity to have known her and I am sorry for them.

My youngest son struggles just the same and yesterday we were informed that he has failed yet another six weeks in math. The heartbreak...and yet, again, I cannot fix this. Rather, I get the best seat in the house as I watch God mold another person with great strength and character beyond their years. So, when I scream for ice cream...believe me, I need ice cream and only Marble Slab will do. Thank you Lord for ice cream.